Safety First

Published October 6, 2011 by caitlinnicoll

Yesterday, I talked about the best weapons when going against the zombie hordes. Today, I will discuss the remainder of your four-point plan for your escape and survival.


While weapons will be invaluable, they won’t do a lot of good if you aren’t physically fit. Train hard, and train often. Remember, stamina over strength.


Aside from your own body, allies may be one of your most valuable assets. The right allies may be the key to survival. Your party should be between 3 and 10 people. Any more, and it will be not only an impediment, but you risk the chance of discovery. Any less, and your team will be ineffective against the monsters.

You want to look for people skilled in a variety of trades. Craftsman, doctors, nurses, fisherman, hunters, engineers, and farmers will all have useful and necessary skills.


Depending on the outbreak, it may be best to remain in your current dwelling. Large apartment complexes contain such zombie impediments as stairs. Also, there will be a wide variety of people from all walks of live, who may very well prove to be valuable allies. Your house could also hold off a small outbreak. As long as your house looks empty, most zombies will pass you by. But, there will always be one or two curious, so always keep an emergency kit on your top floors, and be prepared to break down the stairs when necessary.

However, if the zombie apocalypse descends, you will have no choice but to flee. Depending on your location, it may be best to wait a few days. The roads will be full of teeming, screaming, frightened crazies. Wait a few days, hold down your temporary fort, and you may survive.


Assuming you’ve survived the first few hectic days, and you have your supplies packed and ready to go, now is your time to escape. If you live in a urban area, the streets will be full of obstacles, so large vehicles will be unable to pass. This may not prove necessary in rural areas where there are less people, but depending on how remote your location, you may just want to stay.

Also consider fuel efficiency and storage when considering a vehicle.

Air travel can be a quick escape, but they tend to be noisy. Planes need places to land, and if you’re in a forested area, that can be problematic. Helicopters don’t need a landing strip, but they are also noisy. Same with jetpacks. Hot-air balloons are noiseless, but are slow to take off. Also, like vehicles, they need refueling.

Best: bicycles, motorcycles, your own two feet

Worst: sedans, SUVS, trucks

Safe House

Your secret safe house should be remote and secure. Prisons and military complexes make the best hideouts. Prisons, especially old prisons, are veritable cities of Troy (but be wary of any Trojan horses in the form of survivors. They could be ticking zombie time bombs).  Military complexes are not only secure against invasion, but they’re armed to the teeth.

Obviously, procuring either place can be problematic, if impossible in some instances. So, when choosing a place, consider these things.

1. Secure your surroundings

Build high, strong fences, arm yourself for a siege, and put black-out curtains in every window. An escape route and a safe spot (preferably high) should also be high-priority when either building or procuring your house.

2. Provisions

Make sure you are well stocked with non-perishable food and water. Plant gardens within your fence (no use risking your life for some broccoli) full of a variety of grains and vegetables. Dig a well where possible, bottled water will only last for so long. If not, create a well to collect rain water, and stock up on water purification tablets. You can also use reverse osmosis to purify salt water if that is all that is available.

Your house should contain first-aid kits, fuel, maps, compasses, seeds, gardening tools, cooking utensils, binoculars, matches and lighters, flashlights, toilet paper, building tools and supplies, and obviously weapons.

Farm animals are also a great idea. Cows supply milk as well as fesh meat. Goats, pigs, and chickens are also sources of food. Horses can provide transportation, and llamas will protect your livestock from just about anything.

3. Energy

The only fuel a woodstove needs is wood. Always keep a large, ready supply. And, for god sake, learn how to build a fire!

Generators can be noisy, and will alert your presence. Use only when necessary. The best source of energy for the zombie apocalypse is solar. Solar panels coupled with cell batteries can power your house for years. For your party one or two decent sized panels will suffice.

4. Entertainment

Ever watch a movie where the heroes are holed up in a place surrounded by their enemies and one goes bat shit crazy? Boredom can be your worst enemy. Stock up on books, games, writing materials (for you writers out there. No need to stop writing because of the apocalypse), movies, and music (if electricity is possible). These will keep you from going insane. Music will also drown out the undead moans.

Also, make sure there is a healthy boy/ girl ratio. In my opinion, a 3:1 ratio of women to men is best for procreation, but beware of jealousy and drama.

Tree houses are not only awesome; they can save your life.

Need I say why a tree house will make an awesome (and practical) safe house against zombies?

What are your plans for the zombie apocalypse?


8 comments on “Safety First

  • I am loving your zombie posts!

    Tree house… okay, I’ll wave at you from my massive balloon before floating off towards my base. Which will be an oil rig. I haven’t worked out the practicalities of getting these things yet, but I hope during the zombie apocalypse everyone will be distracted and I can stake a claim.

    • I read that oil rigs are an almost perfect place to build your zombie safe house. the only thing you have to worry about is mother nature, and decay… but that’s true just about anywhere.

      I’ve just always wanted a tree house. Especially an Ewok village.

  • Have you seen an odd little British film called “The Vanguard”? It’s a low budget “zombie virus” kind of film, but it’s the first one I’ve seen that takes place something like 20 years after the initial outbreak, with quite a lot of the political and religious background brought in, with a hint of futuristic technology. Your point about the bicycle reminded me of it. It was especially interesting watching how a character could survive on his own for an extended period and what that would do to him socially, mentally, emotionally (shades of I Am Legend). If you have Netflix, it’s available to watch instantly.

  • There’s a person I work with. We were talking a while back about a break in. She mentioned how it made them (her boyfriend and her) happy they had the three rifles and various handguns.

    I thought, “Sweet Jesus. I know where I’m running to in case of Zombie Apocalypse.” Not only that, she was talking about making soup that can last for days.


  • Yeah…in case of a zombie outbreak, I’m toast. Actually, more like zombie food.

    That whole “cardio” thing from zombieland will be my downfall. And, I only own one rifle and two bullets. I’m totally screwed.

    But, on a high note, I do think I’d make a pretty fierce zombie 🙂

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